Laurie Butcher (Marston)

Many of you will remember Libby Britton from the class of 1968. She was not able to join us for reunion in August due to her health as she had been diagnosed with breast cancer about two years ago. This morning (12/26/2014) on Caring Bridge her husband Ed Zacowitz posted the following:

Yesterday Libby passed away surrounded by her family to the strains of Beethoven's Pastoral symphony (her favorite).  She left this world peacefully with many of those who loved her and whom she loved in attendance at her departure.  

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Ann E. Emerson (Mott)

So sorry to hear the sad news about Libby.  I will remember her as the kind, happy and sweet person she was.

So sad.   Ann (Emerson) Mott

Brian Terho

I remember Libby as a very sweet, happy person with a perpetual smile. It's sad to hear of her passing, but it sounds like she had a lot of support and left in a good manner. 

God bless

Susan E. Dischinger (Kirkpatrick)

Dwight Wilcox?  

Norine Stagnitto (Rausch)

My twin Patty will be on the Dr. Phil show on Monday Oct.26. at 4:00 pm eastern time.   The topic revolves around choosing a healthy lifestyle and looking younger than your actual age.

Mark P. Patterson

I WILL BE WATCHING!

MARK PATTERSON

Shelley E. Moress

ANYONE REMEMBER CATHY PIKE FROM PITTSFORD SUTHERLAND. PLEASE LET ME KNOW. THANKS SO MUCH. LOVE, SHELLEY

Bradley K. Sherman

Thoughtful post. 

Dennis Jones

Looking forward to Chapter 2!

Peggy Hughes (St. James)

Your style of writing and thoughts were greatly influenced by your membership in that upper middle class high school you were part of. 

Doug P. Allen

Interesting to see your thoughts here, Andy.  It does trouble me to see/read about classmates who have passed, and I'd say there have been too many who are no longer with us.  Some were among those that I have to say I did not know very well.  We did seem a bit cliquish during our school days at Pittsford Sutherland, so I do keep that in mind as I receive the news and I do wonder why we found that to be important or necessary back "in the day".  

As for seeking any deeper meaning...well, I try not to worry too much about that at this point.  My focus these days is on family, on appreciating the blessings of my life and on looking forward to what is ahead (retirement at some point, maybe some lower key travel to places I've not yet seen or that I want to revisit).  I look at my own life as having been interesting, certainly... and very fortunate and blessed in comparison with others.  If I leave my family fairly well adjusted and happy, whenever my time is done - hopefully some decades from now - that will have been enough.  

For those who are no longer among us, may they rest in peace and I hope that each of them had the opportunity to feel that their lives made a difference and that they had an opportunity to feel fulfilled in this short life.

Now, as for Mr. Dennison.... I had NO idea!!!  

Doug Allen

Peggy Hughes (St. James)

Andy, Pittsford Sutherland was truly a melting pot of socioeconomics,  especially when we were in school when Pittsford as a community was transitioning from a farm town to what it was to become. Because there were not many affordable private schools to choose and it didn't seem that those of means chose private schools, students with all kinds of backgrounds in terms of parental income attended. My family moved to a farmhouse on East Street in 1958. My sister and I would, for fun, walk down the road to Homer VanVoorhis Farm to hang out with the cows. We even had cows named for us. We had ducks and chickens and bought our feed at the feed store on Schoen Place. You could stand in our yard, looking down toward Powdermill Park and watch the little train go by. NO houses blocked our view. So Pittsford in the 60's was in the midst of changing but a lot of holdovers from its farm community days were sitting in classes as well as children of high level managers. I have looked back and thought about how someone's popularity was not linked to their parents' economic status  but to other factors...often athletic, how cool they were in terms of cutting class/smoking/etc, musical or ability in other fine arts, etc..  Were there advantages athletically if your parents had the money to pay for athletic training? Yes but I could name, but won't, kids who excelled in athletics whose parents didn't have those means. My mother was a teacher and my dad worked in retailing, not as an owner. The reason we could afford to live there was that both my parents worked at a time when most moms stayed home. Summer vacation each year was two weeks at my grandfather's cottage.  No membership in a country club. Spent the rest of the summer at summer recreation where Charlie Miller ushered us to the Monroe YMCA for swimming lessons.  Never flew on a plane until I was in my early 30's. And my high school days were the best!!!  The rest of my life has had ups and downs but I had a Disney-perfect high school life. And as you acknowledge, we had s stellar education. I saw NOTHING in the many schools I taught at in Florida that came close!  High school, for many, is not not made of good memories. But it all seems to even out in the end. Karma??

Doug P. Allen

Very well said, Peggy!

Robert E. (Bob) Koster

BRAVO PEGGY!  I can list many of the same experiences and circumstances you described and I was blessed and richer for it.  Did I treat some people poorly and forego the Golden Rule?  Sadly yes, and I will be held accountable for all of it some day.  Am I sorry?  Yes, for all the things I realize I did, and for all the ones I am too ignorant or self centered or cowardly to remember.  I pray that I will be granted Grace that I know I don't deserve.  I will try to do the same for others.  Not to excuse anything (there are no excuses), but we were all kids, trying to find our way thru the confusion mixed with good fortune and challenges.  And sometimes, we fell short.  Part  of being human.  Try to learn, remember, forget where appropriate, and move on.

Sorry I didn't know you well back then, but it sounds to me like you got thru just fine.  Pray we all do and did, and that we all turned out like that caption in the last photo of the year book:  "Class of 69.  Good to the last drop."

I know.  I probably didn't remember that part right either.  But I think the photo was any empty beer can.  Wonder who drank that?

God bless.

Bob Koster

Peggy Hughes (St. James)

While I had a great high school experience, probably, like all of you, I would have done things somewhat differently. Would have taken Latin. Would have taken Chemistry as a Jr and Physics as a Sr. (But how did they do it with no calculators?)  Would have been on the debate team, although it seems it was made up of really smart people!  Would have spent more time with girlfriends and less with my boyfriend!  And spent more time with other classmates who in adulthood turned out to be the most interesting...I would need a time machine for that. And definitely would have gone to WOODSTOCK!  Maybe become a Deadhead.  As to why so many of us have passed away? Because we are at the age when it begins. And this is when you have to dig really deep and begin the process of seeing your life in the grand scheme of the bigger picture. 

Bill Hoyt

I have been following these posts with a lot of interest. My experience is similar in many ways, but also different.

My life has been almost equally divided between three places. The first third was spent in the Rochester area (Irondequoit, Brighton, Pittsford). My family relocated to Miami the day after graduation. So when I finished college, I "temporarily" moved to Miami. Twenty five years later professional opportunity, and with two daughters in a very quality segmented schools, and a quality of life in the area that was dramatically different from when my parents moved, made the decision easy for me to move to Virginia in the Washington, DC suburbs. Not easy for two teens. I have lived here now for eighteen years.

Only my senior year was spent at PCS, but I was able to meet and interact with some wonderful people, and felt welcomed. Very hard for a basically introverted person. The connections have stayed with me. I was on the list of the missing until the tenth reunion rolled around, but started to show up for all of the rest. Most of the people that were important to me also made most of the reunions, so the years were bridged regardless of whether being in or away from the area. I have not had any immediate relatives living in the the area for a long time. I do have a mother-in-law in Lockport, a sister-in-law in Buffalo, and scattered cousins in Genesee and Orleans counties. So I visit western NY at least once a year.

So what draws me back? I have always been somewhat introspective and have had my share of life events that encourages introspection. As Peggy notes we are reaching the age where death is intruding on our lives more and more, be it parents, spouses, classmates, or others. What keeps drawing me back is my life was shaped by where I came from, so I have a deep and resounding connection with Rochester and western NY. PCS was for many of us a launching pad for next stages of our lives. For some it was the worst time of their lives, for others the best. For the rest of us, some of both. My parents grew up in very modest homes in Batavia and Leroy. My father the first in his family to graduate from college, then starting his career with the IRS before moving to the private sector. My mother graduated from nursing school as an RN, and worked nights when my sisters and I were very young. Life lessons and roots that had a profound influence on the man I grew into. Husband, father, step-father, flawed, curious and fortunate. 

Margo Hochuli (Hochuli Wallman Schubmehl)

     The number of deaths of our classmates in my opinion is not unusual. What is unusual is that our class has  stayed in constant communication for 48 years. That has allowed us to know when one of our classmates has died. Thanks to Kathy Lockwood Benson we also have a place to honor those who have died. We may not have  been a perfect class as far as inclusion goes but as I was told by one of our former teachers turned administrator (at my son's graduation) we were considered one of the most accepting of differences classes in Sutherland's history. My son's class of 1996 was also honored with the same distinction and there were several students in that class who were children of the class of 1969. 

Robert E. (Bob) Koster

From the same song "Just what you want to be, you will be in the end"

Ellen S. Schwalenstocker (Schwalenstocker)

Well, kudos to Andy for inspiring a very interesting discussion. It's nice to read the thoughtful posts and responses of people I knew and some I didn't know in high school.

I guess I  was one of those in-between kids in high school -  not really in, not really out. I probably won the award for the highest number of (unsuccessful) cheerleader tryouts. It does not matter! I have fond memories and some not-so-fond memories like 99.9 percent of people who make it through high school. I think the quality of the education we received at Pittsford Sutherland was on the right side of the bell curve and what we made of that foundation and the environment at the time was up to each of us.

It's funny, I recently read something that suggested that people were more likely to remember their high school friends than their college friends. When I put pen to paper, I found I could name far more people from my high school years than from my college years, despite my college years being probably my fondest memories from the further out past. That doesn't mean I had more close friendships in high school vs. college. I think the freedom of college is that you get to focus on your friends instead of the high school angst of where you stand in the sea of peers. And, yes, as I observe my 16 year old neice and recall the experiences of my now adult step daughters, I think that angst remains a rite of passage for all high schoolers (and middle schoolers) no matter what their environment is and, really, whether they are "in, out or on the edge."

I think it's important to learn from, but not regreat, the past. Still, I do regret that I haven't done a better job of keeping up with either my precous high school or my treasured college friends. I recently learned that my college roommate passed away in her 50s. She was a kind, funny and creative person who I wish I could talk to now. So, I think the deaths we are seeing posted on our Pittsford site are, alas, not at all unusual as others have said. Rest in peace to our departed classmates and know that others' memories of you mean that you mattered.

I no longer have much occasion to visit Rochester and regret not being present at the reunions (other than our 10th). It sounds like there is a treasure of experiences to learn about, and I hope to attend the 50th. Thanks to Kathy and others for making them possible.

The one thing I want to say is this. Although certain people or historical "facts" (alternative or otherwise) might make great fodder for a novel, I think we should refrain from calling out specific people in an on-line discussion unless they are on board with it. 

Dan Goodenow

Andy,

You've brought me back from the company of the dead.

Qustion:  Did you mean Mr. Dennison beacame one of oura classmates or did you mean he did something to a classmate?  I hope the former.  He was a pretty good teacher and coach.

On being "cut" from a team.  My family moved to Pittsford about a week before the start of my 8th grade and at the start of that year, it was tough making friends.  I tried out for the 8th grade baskeytball team and made it.  Instantly I had frineds.  About a week into the practics, the coach announced he had to cut 3 players because he didn't have enough uniforms.  I was one of the 3 guys and guess what, many of my new friends dissapeared.  Guess what else, within weeks, I got over it.

As for team managers, every sports team I was ever on, high school and college, respected the managers and considered them vital and teammates.  I'm sure you were appreciated more than you remember.  I was on that JV baseball team in 10th grade and don't remember anything bad going on except for maybe in my mind, me unfairly riding the pine all season.  In hind site, I could hit very well, but actually sucked in that threw the ball, as they would say back then, like a girl!  Not getting game time was one of the reasons I switched to track my last two years.

As for being "cut", you should have joined us in football or track because no one was ever cut.  In fact, with football, we had guys like like Andy Phillips that gave it a go and he was by far not the biggest player.  He did have a lot of heart and desire and that is what counted.  Over the years, I've come to the conclussion, or rationalization, whichever you prefer, that there is always someone better than you and without you, they wouldn't be better or best. In otherwords, someone has to suck for the star to be measured against and reconized as such.  It was true then and it's still true in my ova 50 ice hockey league today. I suck.  I love the game, I like the teammates, they accept me and we move on through the season and life.

As for your comment about Holly Milller's life, I hope you knew her well enough to write the conclusion you wrote.

All for now.  Carry on.

Dan

Doug P. Allen

This has been one of the most interesting discussions I've seen in years....and it brings high school days back to mind.  I especially appreciated  Ellen Schwalenstocker's comments.  What I "learned" through my high school experience was: (1) Don't ever wear loud polka-dot shirts (Ellen Bass Miller will "get" that one immediately), (2) Almost all of us experienced some insecurities - Heck, we were teenagers, so insecurities come with the territory.  (3) For many of us, we discovered that we were not the great athletes of our dreams - that's kind of a so what item, (4) And....that high school was very much a learning process.  That's because it was supposed to be that kind of experience.  

Who was on the periphery?  At times most of us probably felt like we were... What I learned from that was that if I feel insecure about something...well...hey, push through it to get to where you want to be.  

I don't regret anything about those days.  Cut from baseball TWICE?  Hmmm... that didn't exactly do damage to my future life.  Time as a baseball team manager (yep, I did that too, and I wasn't all that GREAT at it)...at least that taught me to pay attention at all times!  My time on that nerdy debate team? - It surely wasn't the popular thing to do, but what a huge boost to what I needed as an adult.  The class couple thing? That one leaves me smiling...yep, I still laugh at the Senior Class Will where someone plugged in a snarky comment about Penny and me.  

If there's one thing I wish that I could be better about would be attending some of those class reunions!!!  I've been quite a slacker about it!  Ah, that's one thing for my New Year's resolution list.

My thanks to people like Margo, who keeps in touch with everyone ;-)  and Kathy who has taken the lead on the forum, reunions, etc.  for the things they've done to ensure that we have the opportunity to do anything from saying hello to having a great forum that allows us to re-engage. 

Have a great weekend....and well, one classmate's thought?  Regret nothing, learn from everything and look forward to the future!  

Paul North (North)

Pittsford HS...I

It was a place I went during the day, but was not the center of my life. I look back now with humor and a smile.

I had some good high school friends, but after June, 1969, nothing lasting.  Fun memories:  working at Pittsford Wegmans before it became a super store;  Valentine Anzalone and band (we marched twice that I recall.  Once at a football game and onece at a Memorial day parade.  No fancy uniforms, just a school blazer, ties, and grey slack or skirts.  We did not march well.)  Greg Wolf and I posed for the drama club picture and Miss Ellis quized us if we were seriously considering being in a play.  We said "yes"  Greg and I were always in the orchestra...but I did one play as the cab drivber in "Harvey."  I didn't get to play in the Wolf, Womeldorf, Legge, Goodenow band.  No need for a french horn.  

We moved to Pittsford in the middle of my 6th grade year (Lincoln Elem).  Then on to the new Junior High out in Mendon.  I was going to try our for basketball, but Mr. Mueller told me he already had his team picked.  (I dislike basketball to this day.)  As a freshman I went out for football, but on day 2 some senior blind-sided me with a huge hit.  I went one way, my glasses another.  I decided "Music is the way."  I also tried out for the baseball team, but the day of tryouts, I broke my tailbone in gym class trying to do a flip on the pommel horse.  I could hardly walk, let alone run.  That afternoon, when I got up to bat, I hit the ball, but looked like a 90 year old trying to limp to first base.  Needless to say, I didn't make it.  So, I was the manager.  That was the year Steve Ramp and ??? ran into each other on the practice field and really hurt each other.  "Music" looked even better.  

I chose well in marriage from the Pittsford class of 1970.  45 year anniversay this past January.  4 kids, 4 grandkids.  Living on 5 acres in central Indiana, debt free, retired from teaching psycholgy and fine arts in a local university, raising chickens and rabbits.  It doesn't get any better than this.  

Indiana

(sung to the tune of “Caledonia” by Dougie MacLean:  see youtube)

I don’t know if you see the changes that come over me

When I think about

Riding out

Into the forests and the hills.

I start telling old stories, singing songs

About the places that we’ve belonged.

That’s the reason I don’t stay.

My mind simply drifts away……

Let me tell you that I love you,

And I think about you all the time.

But Indiana calls to me,

and I know that I’m home

I think about where we have lived.

Ohio, Philippines, California.

New York and Iowa, we traveled far.

But we always end up coming home.

We’ve made new friends and left the old.

Painful memories have now grown cold.

Our families’ close, old haunts are near,

We’ve grown deep roots through the years.

Let me tell you that I love you,

And I think about you all the time.

But Indiana calls to me,

and I know that I’m home

As I sit by the fire,

Relaxing warm when I tire,

I remember summer days,

Gardens growing, humid haze.

Those fevers that used to burn inside

Seems to me that they have now all died.

I am content to spend the time

On this land that I call mine….

Let me tell you that I love you,

And I think about you all the time.

But Indiana calls to me,

and I know that I’m home

Paul North (North)

Ha - I didn't hit spell check.  Sorry.

Dan Goodenow

Andy,

I feel bad that you feel you had such a terrible time at PCS.  You know that there were quite a number of shorer guys.  Danny Dodson, a pretty good friend of mine, was definately on the short side.  Dave Lund was no giant.

There were a bunch of classmates that had more serious conditions and disabilities than lack of height and made the best of their circumstances.  As for fitting into the smart kid group, I, like you was far from that.  I missed about 1/2 year in 9th grade due to illness, so yea, 3 1/2 years of HS was a great excuse.  Not applying myself wasn't the real issue, right.  As for economic, social and intelligence rankings, I remember very clearly sitting with Ellen Bass sometime after football season ended and we all started to apply for college and saying to her I wanted to marry her before shipping off to Vietnam.  As true for most of us, we all had our challenges, disappointments, successes and happiness.  I also remember very clearly sittting down with Mr. Shelly to start looking at colleges and the first words out of his mouth, and I quote. "Dan, I know I can get you into a college, but I also know you will flunk out.  Let's see what might work."

Funny thing is, in life after PCS, his words sonmetimes served as motivation.

I guess my point is that if you really think back, I bet you'll remember some great and special times.  I'd like to hear about those.

For me, even that moment sitting with Ellen, completely lost, desperately reaching out to her, (smartly on her part, not giving me an answer), just looking for some direction, thinking how I stupidly fucked things up with my poor grades, etc., leaves me with wicked fond memories.  On the other hand, I suppose that if I had not gotten into college and shipped out, I would have had some bittterness.  Life is unpredictable and not always fair for sure.  For good and bad, we mostly make our own beds and I'm okay with mine so far.  I bet you are too...

Dan

Ellen S. Schwalenstocker (Schwalenstocker)

This has all been an interesting discussion from many thoughtful people. Maybe someone shoud write a novel about a bunch of gray haired people going back to the same high school as the people they have become.